A Different Question About Love
For Debby Goossens, the most important question in modern dating is not Who do you want to meet? but Who are you when love asks something of you?
After nearly a decade as a matchmaker and dating coach, Debby has observed a striking paradox. Many of the most accomplished, disciplined, and self-aware professionals, people who excel in business and leadership, struggle deeply when it comes to love. Not because they lack desire, ambition, or intelligence, but because love requires a different kind of presence. One that cannot be optimized, rushed, or controlled.
“Love demands attention,” she often says. “If you don’t make it a priority, it simply won’t come.” That insight sits at the heart of her work and of her own journey.
From Organization to Observation
Long before Debby became known for her work around feminine and masculine energy, she built her career in environments that required structure, responsibility, and precision. Her early professional years were spent in office management, event coordination, and large-scale productions, working across corporate settings, creative agencies, and logistics-heavy organizations.
These roles sharpened her ability to read people, manage complexity, and create order under pressure. They also gave her a front-row seat to human behavior, how people show up, where they overcompensate, and where they quietly disappear behind roles and expectations.
That sensitivity to human dynamics would later become her greatest strength.
As she transitioned into entrepreneurship, Debby became the third and final owner of Just2Match Relatiebureau, a relationship bureau with a history spanning more than three decades. Rather than founding the organization, she stepped into an existing legacy and consciously reshaped it for a new generation of singles. Under her leadership, Just2Match evolved from a traditional matchmaking bureau into a coaching-driven practice centered on self-awareness, polarity, and emotional responsibility.
This role required both respect for what came before and the courage to challenge outdated approaches, a balance that would come to define Debby’s leadership style.
Seeing the Patterns Others Miss
Through thousands of conversations with singles, Debby began noticing consistent themes. High-achieving women often lived almost entirely in what she describes as “doing-energy.” They planned, led, initiated, and solved, skills that serve them well professionally, but quietly disrupt romantic polarity.
“Ambitious women tend to chase and take charge,” Debby explains. “But attraction grows when there is space to receive, not when everything is managed.”
Her work with women centers on awareness first, recognizing patterns of control, over-functioning, or emotional self-sufficiency. From there, Debby guides women back to their feminine core through a combination of empathy and confrontation. While her approach is supportive, it is also direct. She does not shy away from asking difficult questions or challenging ingrained behaviors when necessary.
“Growth is not always comfortable,” she notes. “But without honest confrontation, patterns don’t change.”
On the other side of the spectrum are the so-called “Nice Guys.” Men who appear kind, agreeable, and attentive, yet struggle to form lasting, equal connections. Debby’s work here goes far beyond surface-level confidence coaching.
“The Nice Guy often carries a deep belief that he is not good enough,” she says. “That belief shapes everything, people-pleasing, avoidance of conflict, settling for less, or giving with the hope of getting something back.”
Drawing from trauma-informed insights, Debby helps these men return to the origin of that belief, offering validation where it was once missing. Through structured conversations and practical assignments, they begin to rebuild healthy self-esteem, not by performing masculinity, but by reclaiming it authentically.
Redefining Equality, Polarity, and Responsibility
One of Debby’s most defining positions is also one of the most misunderstood. Men and women are equal in value, but different by nature.
“Masculinity and femininity both serve a purpose,” she explains. “When we deny those differences, attraction fades. When we honor them, connection becomes possible again.”
This philosophy resonates deeply in a dating culture dominated by fast choices, endless options, and fear of missing out. Debby is outspoken about how modern dating apps and instant gratification undermine intimacy.
“FOMO in dating sounds like, ‘I don’t know if I want to choose you, because someone better might come along.’ That mindset prevents depth,” she says. “Real intimacy requires courage, the courage to choose.”
In her podcast and speaking engagements, Debby invites people to take responsibility for their emotional availability. She distinguishes clearly between fleeting pleasure and grounded intimacy, encouraging clients to ask themselves hard but necessary questions.
Am I emotionally available? Can I give and receive love? Do my actions align with my values?
Her message is not about perfection, but about honesty, with oneself first.
A Personal Mirror
Debby’s authority does not come from theory alone. “I am my own client,” she says openly. Her own turning point came when she recognized patterns rooted in complex trauma, patterns that influenced her choices in love just as much as those of her clients.
That realization led her into deep study, reflection, and healing. By reading extensively and following specialists in trauma recovery, Debby gained a clearer understanding of why people unconsciously attract the same partners again and again.
“If you don’t heal the inner wound, you keep repeating the story,” she explains.
Equally important, she emphasizes the role of personal values and a moral compass, anchors that help individuals stay grounded amid emotional intensity and romantic temptation.
And perhaps most importantly, “Show up as you. Not a version of you.”
Slowing Down to Go Deeper
Looking ahead, Debby Goossens continues to sharpen the focus of her work with a clear conviction: lasting love cannot be rushed, outsourced, or engineered through shortcuts. Over time, she and her team made a deliberate decision to step away from active matchmaking and place coaching at the center of the practice. Today, matchmaking is offered only by special request, and only when it meaningfully supports a deeper coaching trajectory.
This shift reflects Debby’s belief that sustainable relationships are built from the inside out. Without self-awareness, emotional availability, and personal responsibility, introductions alone do little to create lasting intimacy. Coaching, in her view, is not an optional add-on to dating. It is the foundation.
What began as a professional practice has also evolved into a family business, rooted in shared values and complementary expertise. After several years, Debby was joined by her cousin Mabel, a relationship coach who works closely with clients on emotional awareness and relational patterns. A few years later, her son Jeremy became part of the team, contributing as a life and fitness coach with a strong focus on physical vitality, discipline, and self-leadership. His wife completes the circle as the company’s technology specialist, overseeing the technical infrastructure that supports the business and its future-facing initiatives.
This family-driven structure is not incidental. It mirrors the principles Debby teaches every day: alignment over appearance, responsibility over convenience, and depth over speed. Just as healthy relationships require trust, clarity, and commitment, so does meaningful work.
In a dating culture shaped by instant gratification and fear of missing out, Debby’s vision stands in quiet contrast. She encourages people to slow down, to choose consciously, and to resist the temptation of endless options. True intimacy, she believes, is not about chemistry alone, but about self-trust, values, and the courage to stay present when things become uncomfortable.
For Debby, the future of modern dating is not faster or easier. It is more intentional, more honest, and more human.
Editorial Note
Debby Goossens represents a growing movement in modern leadership, one that understands that success without intimacy is incomplete, and that love, like leadership, begins with self-awareness and responsibility.
Her work challenges high performers to slow down, choose consciously, and build relationships rooted not in fantasy, but in truth.
For those willing to look in the mirror, the reward is not just a relationship, but a deeper connection to themselves.
